Phase 3

On 3rd September I went back into hospital to begin Phase 3, but it took until the afternoon of the next day until I actually received any chemotherapy. The doctors seemed very unsure to begin with. My liver was still playing up a bit, but by Friday morning it finally decided to play ball and fix itself. Then it was agreed that I could receive the chemo at 75% strength.

Whenever you receive chemotherapy it always seems a bit bizarre. You see a big red bag arrive which has "TOXIC" written on the side of it. Sometimes you just have to smile. This was especially the case here as they arrived with a huge bag filled with luminous yellow liquid ready to be attached to me. They also had to give me fluids simultaneously, which meant that I was left running to the loo every ten minutes, dragging a very heavy Larry (the pump stand) with me.

Once I had finished receiving the methotrexate (chemo), I had to receive an acid antidote and fluids, until the methotrexate had been flushed out of my system - and then I could go home! Unfortunately I couldn't be disconnected from Larry at any point, which made showering an interesting experience and made it quite difficult to sleep, as fluid bags were constantly being changed. However, my kidneys luckily did their job and I was happily discharged on the Monday.

On Tuesday evening I was well enough to attend 'Look Good Feel Good' at the Maggie's Centre. I have mentioned this in my blog before as I've been wanting to attend for ages. The evening, basically, is an opportunity for women facing cancer to get professional make up advice. We went through the full process of a make up routine, and we got a free goody bag at the end with all the products that we used. It really was a great experience and I felt very pleased with the results. Since my diagnosis I've not really felt any point in getting dressed up, but this made me feel great - it made me realise that my cancer doesn't have to stop me feeling beautiful once in a while.

Since then I've been out and about a little, visiting Stonehaven beach for some fish and chips and enjoying the sun in the park whilst having a picnic. So, I'm really happy to be home at the moment. I will be back in hospital on Thursday to receive the second and last dose of my chemotherapy in Phase 3. I'm not much looking forward to the constant dashing to the loo, but hopefully my kidneys will do their job once again and I will be out of hospital as quick as a flash.

End of Phase 2

To my great relief I finally came to the end of Phase 2 of my treatment and was discharged from hospital last Monday! The first few days at home weren't very exciting as I was still recovering from the last lot of chemo and I was feeling very tired and nauseous. However, over the last few days I have really been able to properly relax and enjoy being at home, as the whole of the last week has been completely chemotherapy free. A couple of days ago I even managed to venture to the park for the first time in months to have a bit of fun in the sun (as seen in the various pictures). You will also be happy to know that since my last blog I have been enjoying the food at home and my craving for chicken nuggets has been fulfilled.

On Thursday I will be heading back into hospital for the beginning of Phase 3, but hopefully I shouldn't be there for very long. Unfortunately, this chemotherapy cannot be given as an outpatient because of its high dosage and possible effects on the kidneys, but I should only be in the hospital for 3-4 days, and then I can return home (as long as everything runs smoothly). The good news is that I will only receive two doses of this chemotherapy throughout the course of the month, so hopefully I will be spending most of the next few weeks at home.


Over the 3-4 days I will be spending in hospital I will firstly receive fluids, then a dose of methotrexate (the chemotherapy drug), followed by an antidote to the methotrexate and more fluids to control any side effects. This round of chemotherapy is very important as it ensures that no leukemia cells affect my central nervous system.

As the methotrexate can affect my kidney function, I had to undergo a kidney test yesterday. This involved being injected with a radioactive substance and then getting blood samples taken throughout the course of the day. When one of the blood samples was being taken, the nurse didn't seem to be paying much attention to what she was doing and spilled some of my blood on my jacket (luckily it was a black jacket!) The nurse then basically freaked out because she thought my jacket was radioactive and had to clean it furiously before checking its level of radioactivity - luckily I was allowed to leave, as long as I promised to wash the jacket as soon as I got home.

I always get a little nervous when I move into a new phase of treatment as I have to face new drugs and a whole new set of challenges. However, I'm feeling positive at the moment, and I'm hopeful that this month will run smoothly and I'll be able to spend much more time at home. So, everyone just needs to keep their fingers crossed for me that my kidneys are up for the challenge!

Day 20 of Phase 2

Apologies for the long delay since my last blog. I know that some people have become concerned about me, but I promise I'm still here - can't get rid of me that easily! Since I last wrote I feel like I have been bouncing from one problem to the next, but I have also had a couple of opportunities to escape the hospital too, which has helped to keep my sanity intact.

After finding out about my intestinal inflammation I was started on a course of antibiotics. Unfortunately antibiotics have never been my best friend, as even though they seem to be fixing me, they make me feel awful. This meant that I ended up spending the best part of a week pretty much in hibernation (you have to feel sorry for my parents and Sam who came to see me for a chat and ended up just watching me sleep for hours - the height of entertainment obviously). During this period the doctors decided to take me off my chemotherapy so that my white blood cells could recover and hopefully beat the infection.

Last Monday I was starting to feel a little better, so the doctors were willing to allow me a bit more freedom. This was good news as I had an appointment the next day in Glasgow to meet the consultant in charge of my bone marrow transplant. I hadn't actually been outside Aberdeen since May, so this was probably one of the most exciting road trips of my life.

My appointment was at the new hospital in Glasgow which has some great facilities, but was a bit of a minefield to navigate around for someone who does not know Glasgow at all. All the staff were lovely and they seem to be really accommodating - this was a huge relief. However, there was a lot of information to digest, and not all of it was very nice. The week leading up to my transplant will be pretty horrible as I will be undergoing both chemotherapy and radiotherapy multiple times a day. The transplant itself will actually be relatively easy, but as my new immune system kicks into play this is where the problems could begin. There will be a period of a number of weeks where I will almost certainly develop some infections, some people even end up in intensive care! (but I'm really hoping that won't happen to me). We also discussed the long term effects that this treatment will have on my life, which really brought home how right I was about this diagnosis - it will change my entire life. I know I will get through all of this, but in some ways the effects of the leukemia will always be with me, and there is no escaping that.

Anyway, along with the bad news came some good news - the nurse said that in order to bulk up for the procedure I was allowed to eat as much rubbish as I liked! This meant that after weeks of persuasion, my mum finally agreed to let me have the thing that I had been craving the most... a McDonalds! So, on the way home my dreams were finally realised in the form of a McChicken Legend. (That same day we even got a Chinese take-away for dinner - it was probably the most unhealthy but pleasurable day of my life).

After a fantastic day out, chemotherapy started again on Thursday. This seemed fine for a little while, but at the weekend the problems started to set in again. The doctors informed me that my liver tests are a little odd, and this has been accompanied by a pain in my right side and a horrible feeling of constant nausea. This does indicate that my liver is not very happy at the moment. And sadly it means that my heavenly life of eating McDonalds has been cut short and I am back eating hospital food for the foreseeable future. If anyone is brave enough to try and smuggle in a box of chicken nuggets, it would be much appreciated.

Laura xo

Day 11 of Phase 2 - Back in hospital!

Well, 11 days after being discharged, and I'm back in hospital! It's quite a long story as to why, so please bare with me, and make yourself comfortable.

It's been a difficult start to this second stage of treatment to say the least, so you will have to forgive me for the delay in the blog. On Monday 20th July I officially started treatment as an outpatient and it was my first visit to the day centre. I have to say, the day centre is much better than I thought it would be - everyone was very relaxed and friendly. However, I was there for much longer on Monday than I would have liked. The treatment was supposed to last 4 hours, so we were told to arrive for 9am. But despite the fact that I arrived at 9am, my chemo didn't make an appearance till after midday, so I ended up being stuck in hospital till 5.30pm - they even had to chuck me out of the day centre and move me to a different floor so that the nurses could go home. The chemo they gave me has some weird side-effects too. Do you know when you jump into a swimming pool you sometimes get this horrible feeling that chlorine has gone up your nose? I felt like that for a good hour whilst having treatment. Weirdest side-effect ever.

Tuesday meant that it was time for the dreaded lumber puncture. I began the day down in the day centre having more chemotherapy - luckily this one only lasts 10 minutes. I then had to head up to the ward. People can usually have their lumber punctures done down in the day centre, but I absolutely insist on being given sedation, meaning that they have to do it in the ward. I really don't understand how anyone can have it done without sedation to be honest, they are better people than I will ever be. Once again my lumber puncture was problematic as they could not find the right part of my spine. This seems to happen every single time, so I'm starting to wonder if my spine is actually normal. However, luckily, they did heavily sedate me, so despite it being problematic, I wasn't really aware of what was going on and managed to survive unscathed.

Wednesday onwards was much better, as I simply had a short 10 minute treatment in the morning and was back home by 11am. The chemotherapy treatment does make me extremely tired though, so usually I have been back home at 11am and...straight to bed!

However, by this Monday I was feeling very weak and faint, so we needed to go into the day centre so that I could get a blood transfusion. It took till 4pm for the blood to arrive, by which point I was feeling very ropy, and because the blood had arrived so late, they needed to move me up to the ward as it would take 4 hours to complete the transfusion. So, I headed up to the ward, thinking that once that blood transfusion had finished I would be able to head home again. No such luck. When my blood results came back, we also received my CRP results. CRP are a protein in the blood, and the higher the levels, the higher the levels of inflammation - which leads to infection. A 'normal' person usually has levels of about 10, and an infected person would have levels of about 200-300. When you have leukemia, your CRP levels are higher than normal, but in this particular test, my levels were raised to 70, which is even higher than you would normally expect in someone with my condition. This meant that the doctors all suddenly panicked because I might have an infection and I got readmitted into hospital.

On top of my faintness, I have also been feeling some pain in my lower stomach, which led the doctors to believe that it might be a bowel or bladder infection. So, since being readmitted, I have had various types of scans to see if they can find anything. First I had an ultrasound scan (which was very painful as the woman kept pressing directly on the area that hurts), followed by an X-Ray and then a CT Scan. The ultrasound and X-Ray did not show anything, but the CT Scan did provide some answers - the pain from my stomach seems to be from an inflammation in my small intestine. However, the CT Scan also showed us something that we weren't actually looking for - I have two blood clots, one in my leg and the other in my lung. As you can imagine, this was a bit of a shock, especially as I had not been having any symptoms that suggested blood clots. On the plus side though, it is something that is commonly seen in leukemia patients, and to treat it they simply have to give me an injection into my tummy every day for 6-12 weeks that will help thin the blood and get rid of the clotting. Annoyingly, I have now started to have some symptoms, as today I started getting chest pain, but I'm managing to control this with pain relief - thank the Lord for morphine! It is a beautiful thing.

In terms of the inflammation in the intestine, the doctors need to treat that with antibiotics whilst I am still in hospital. So, it looks like I will have to stay here for at least a few more days. I'm missing home like crazy (especially now I don't have constant access to a fridge and can't watch TV past midday), but in a way I feel very lucky that they have found the cause of the problem so early - now they will be able to treat everything before it gets any worse.

Ok, so my body seems to be struggling a little bit this week! But I promise that everything will be alright in the end, and hopefully I will be back home before we know it.

Home Time!

On Tuesday I received the last bone marrow and lumber puncture of this part of my treatment. I was given plenty of sedation again (thank goodness), but it still wasn't very comfortable. At one point I had horrible pins and needles down my leg, which I have to admit was very sore. Unfortunately, I will have to receive a lumber puncture every Tuesday as the next part of my treatment, so I guess I will have to get used to them. I just need to remember how important they are - the lumber puncture ensures that no Leukemia cells reach my brain - so, it may be painful, but all in a good cause.

However, after the horrible treatment, I was given the fantastic news that I could go home! After the sedation had worn off they were going to sign my discharge letter, give me my medication and send me on my way to live my life as an outpatient!
...This was much too easy of course. Something had to go wrong. And of course it did. Mum and Sam packed everything into the car to go home, but then... my medication went missing. The pharmacist had only provided us with half my medication, so no home for me.

Luckily I only had to survive one more night. It took until 3pm yesterday, but finally they sorted out all my medication and set me free! I have now officially been discharged! The good news continued as I was also told that the bone marrow results were very good - so treatment seems to be working well as we move on to the next stage.

This means that I will be going into the second part of my treatment known as Phase 2 Induction. Even though I will be living at home the treatment will be fairly intense, with me travelling into hospital to receive chemotherapy every day, with the exception of weekends. This will be with new chemotherapy drugs that I haven't had before. Being in the day clinic will be a little strange too - I'm used to receiving chemo in my own room, so the idea of lots of other cancer patients getting chemo at the same time seems a little weird. I am feeling very nervous about it.

But despite my nerves, I feel extremely happy. I am so grateful and relieved that treatment has gone well so far, and I have every confidence that this will continue into the next stage, because I know that I can beat this. Plus, being at home is amazing. I now get to be constantly around the people that I love (and constantly have access to the fridge - the most important thing). So, really, I'm over the moon right now.

Day 25

So, remember when I was pathetically moaning about my bum being sore? Turns out that this moaning was actually for a genuine reason.

On Tuesday afternoon I was taken for an MRI scan to check out if there were any major problems. MRI scans are really strange by the way. I thought that all you would have to do is roll into the machine and lay still - and, whilst this is true - no-one prepares you for the horrendous noise of the machine. I had ear plugs in and was listening to music, but it still sounded like gunfire from above and drilling from below. Terrifying machines!

Anyway, I received the results from the MRI yesterday and it turns out that I do actually have a hip problem. Basically, the steroids that I have been taking are restricting the blood supply into my hip, and that is what is causing my discomfort. As my steroids are such an important part of my treatment it's crucial that I keep on taking them for the time being, but I do need to be careful with movement. The general consensus is that I can wander around the ward a little, but not much further, so my parents and Sam will have to wheel me down to the cafe so I can get my munchies (Yes, I am still starving all the time).

In other news, the hair is gone. Completely! Over the past few days it has been falling out progressively, but I made the decision today to get the rest shaved off - so you can now all say hello to my beautiful, bald head.

In terms of wigs, I made the decision to go for one brave and one normal choice. So, I was a daredevil and chose the red wig from the fake wigs, and I'm also being fitted for a mid-length, brunette, real hair wig from the Princess Trust next week, something a lot closer to my original hair. Thanks for all the votes and suggestions! I hope you like my final choice.

Thank you Cineworld and Marrow Aberdeen!

A totally amazing thing happened yesterday. Cineworld Queens Links, with the help of Marrow Aberdeen, opened their doors between 12noon and 5pm to hold an event raising awareness for bone marrow donation.

But not only did a few people wander in and sign up as bone marrow donors - an incredible 52 people ventured down to the beach to sign up. 52 people! I was genuinely blown off my feet when I heard it was that many! The fact that all those people took the time out of their day to sign up is truly amazing, and I wish that I could go around and thank each of you 52 wonderful people individually. By just signing up you have given me the possibility of life, and I will never be able to thank anyone enough for that.

As well as those 52 amazing prospective donors, I am so grateful to all those at Cineworld and Marrow Aberdeen for making the clinic a possibility. It was your hard work and support for me that made the event  successful, and I am so grateful. Like I said in my card - I promise to buy you all a drink when I've beaten this thing!

Unfortunately I obviously couldn't be at the event myself, but I've got some photographs to give you all a taster of how wonderful it was. An amazing day organised by some amazing people. Thank you.